When was your last date night? Do you even remember it? I’ll be honest – I don’t. Before the COVID-19 pandemic and the accompanying closures, my husband and I rarely got out. The reasons are as follows:
1. We have three kids and my dad and father-in-law, both solid sitter options, live out of town.
2. My mom can take the kids, but for short periods only, especially at night, and we don’t want to over-use her because she does care duty on PD days.
3. Paying for a neighbourhood sitter on top of the cost of the date is sometimes overwhelming.
4. While we do have an older child, he’s not quite there yet with the maturity needed to do an evening of care for the little ones.
5. I admit it, sometimes, we just didn’t try hard enough. It was easier to just not bother trying to find a sitter.
But sometimes we still managed to get our act together and get out for a night at the movies, or at least a dinner and a walk. When we did, we both really enjoyed dinner together at a restaurant (preferably NOT one where we’d been before with the kids) or catching a movie. Date night almost always ended at Merla Mae Ice Cream followed by a walk on one of the many paths in the area. While few and far between, date nights were wonderful.
Date Night is Different Now
Since the COVID-19 pandemic started, my husband and I haven’t been out to dinner alone in a restaurant, to a movie, or even out for ice cream. Like most families, we’ve been sequestered at home with our children. We’re safe, and we’ll continue to follow lockdown orders until it’s safe not to. However, I was really feeling the absence of date night and the time together to reconnect, talk uninterrupted, or sit happily together with no words at all. So, I knew it was time to get creative.
Walks
Being locked down has meant most people are taking to walking for their only form of exercise and escape from the walls of their homes. We’re no different! As a family, we’ve embraced walking. Some days during the most serious stay-at-home orders, walking was the only option we had for the kids to burn off their seemingly infinite energy! So, while we would walk frequently as a family, we started leaving the younger kids at home with our older child and going for walks together later in the evening, just the two of us. This worked because our older child could handle the shorter time, and it was helping him develop the confidence and maturity he’ll need for longer periods down the road. And it gave my husband and me some time to connect, talk, stroll, and be alone for a short while.
At Home Movies
I don’t know about you, but I can’t stay up late. I’m not wired that way. If I lay down after seven, I will be asleep for the night within 15 minutes. So, watching a movie after the kids go to bed didn’t really work for us. However, there were a few flicks I was dying to stream, so one Saturday afternoon, I said, “Let’s watch this together in the bedroom while the kids play.” And were they in and out of the room? Of course, they were! But they knew we were close by if needed and were just as happy to say their piece and go when we explained the movie was not for them. With minimal interruption, my husband and I were to enjoy a movie together, and no one fell asleep.
Shopping
Okay, this one might be a stretch, but a few times during lockdown the husband and I threw caution to the wind and visited a store together. I know, I know – one shopper per household. But when we’re doing a Costco run during COVID, that could easily become a two-cart affair, and it’s easier to have all hands on deck. I admit it – I liked our shopping trips together. This is, of course, coming from a girl who loves to shop…for anything. Even the necessities. However, it was just so nice to be able to focus on a task together and accomplish something.
Drives
Like walks, we felt it was okay to leave our younger kids with the older kid to take a drive together. The purpose of this was sometimes to talk and connect, but sometimes it was because we both just needed a break. My husband and I are both pretty introverted, and 2 out of three of our kids are not. All three are chatterboxes. One of the many amazing things about my husband that made me fall in love with him was the fact that I never felt like I needed to fill the silence around him. We could be together, but quiet, and it was comfortable. As introverts, we both still need that important time to recharge, and during the COVID pandemic sometimes that happened in a vehicle on the way to pick up some essentials.
Love and Gratitude in the Time of COVID
I think I echo what a lot of people feel, in that the COVID-19 pandemic has given me an entirely new outlook on gratitude and what I am grateful for. It’s also, I believe, changed a lot of people’s perspectives on what they used to take for granted and what they won’t take for granted moving forward. I know that when my husband and I can dine together, see a movie, or whatever, I will take it far less for granted. I also understand that we shouldn’t take anything for granted, as you never know what tomorrow brings (excuse the cliché). So, while I admitted that I never tried hard enough to make date night a priority, I will make more effort in the future. Because if COVID’s taught us anything, it’s that everything can change in an instant, and everything we once took for granted could be gone. In this case not forever, but a very long time.
