When it comes to relaxation, I am quite unskilled. Like many modern women, I don’t know how. After years of bringing home the bacon, frying it in a pan, never letting them forget I’m not a man, and general raging against the patriarchy, it’s become impossible for me to slow down. And yet, for reasons related to health and wellness, relaxation remains necessary. As such, I have compiled a list of relaxation tips for people like myself, who exist only in fight or flight and struggle to relax.
Give Yourself Permission
One reason I struggle to relax is that I feel guilty. There’s always 100 things I can be doing, and if I relax, even for a second, I’m lazy because I am not accomplishing one of those 100 things. This kind of thinking can lead to trouble, such as exhaustion, burnout, or anxiety. Before you set about trying to find ways to relax when you’re absolutely terrible at it, permit yourself. If you don’t free yourself and open your mind to the idea of relation, it will be impossible. Remind yourself that relaxing doesn’t make you lazy.
Relaxation for Dummies
Start Small
When I find myself with a large chunk of time, such as some time off from work or a pristine Saturday with no plans, it’s tempting to say, “I’m going to spend the day relaxing.” However, that doesn’t do it for me. I end up stressed about the time I am potentially wasting. Try starting smaller and saying, I am going to carve out some time to relax today.” Then commit to an hour or less, of time where you truly permit yourself a break from the hustle.
Get Personal
I’m not here to tell you how to relax. It’s personal. My husband goes running to relax. I personally find that offensive but to each their own. My idea of relaxation is a quiet activity, such as reading, meditation, or journaling. What works for one doesn’t work for all. Figure out what works for you.
Don’t Lean on Crutches
Sometimes, we justify bad habits under the guise of relaxation. This can create issues if you’re not careful. For example, eating to relax can result in weight gain, shopping to relax can have some pretty serious consequences on your wallet, and the pitfalls of using alcohol don’t even need to be explained. So, be careful to relax in a way that isn’t going to create an unhealthy habit or a crutch that becomes necessary.
A Few Ideas
Below I have listed a few of my favourite easy and quick methods for relaxation.
Walking
Walking, especially in nature, can be incredibly relaxing. It’s an excellent relation method for those of us that struggle to relax because it has the added element of accomplishment because walking is exercise.
Being Intentionally Present
Listen, I know as well as anyone that when you’re busy, driven, and ambitious, that sometimes it’s easy to focus on your goals instead of your family or friends. One thing I find incredibly relaxing is to allow myself the freedom to be intentionally present and focused on a family member or friend, without letting the feeling of guilt that I should be doing something else interfere.
Reading
I come back to reading a lot. But it is relaxing. You’re still, quiet, contemplative, and focused when reading. And yet, while your mind is absorbed, your body is at rest. For those who struggle with the feelings of guilt surrounding “wasting time,” reading is an excellent relation tool because reading contributes to your overall knowledge bank. You can learn while reading.
Exercise
Some people find exercise incredibly relaxing. I do not. However, I list it here because I find it easier to relax after I have exercised. For me, exercise is necessary for my health and wellbeing, so it’s a top priority. But I view it more as a “to-do,” rather than a relaxation technique. Exercise also helps burn off anxious energy, potentially explaining why some find it relaxing, and why others are more able to relax once they’ve completed a workout.
Say No
This is probably the simplest and yet most challenging item on this list. If you already feel stretch and over-committed, so no to the next person who wants something from you. This is easier said than done, and you’ll need to work toward letting go of the guilt associated with saying no.
Relax: You Owe It To Yourself
Relaxation is essential to health and mental wellbeing. And while it’s certainly a struggle for most modern women, it’s necessary. Otherwise, you risk burning out. Relaxation will help keep you at the top of your game. After all, you can’t hustle, break glass ceilings, storm the C-suite, or smash the patriarchy from the bench.
